Excerpts

When I used to write with pen and paper (yes, I am that old!) I used to say that my pen had taken a walk. A voice in my head would utter the words and I would take dictation. That is how I would write. Usually, there would be something behind the voice, an experience, a word, an image that would be so compelling that it would pour out of the pen like gooey liquid, filling the spaces between the lines. Only in the quiet could I hear the voice speak and only then would I grab something, a newspaper, a napkin, lipstick, anything that I could write with. It would be compelling and fleeting.

I have that sensation now, right now. I cannot sleep until I finish here. There is something that needs to be expressed. Not like an answer, more like a question or an observation.

In 1992 I wrote, Its amazing how much I learn from helping someone else sort out their difficulties. Its like my own light bulbs go onwhat I call the AHA way of learning. Their discovery becomes mine as well. Life is full of these little, major discoveries sun breaks of clarity usually brought on by clouds of confusion.

For every conversation I have, there is a point in which I shift. There is openness, a paying attention to what the language expresses, even as the underlying may be inexpressible. A combination of intuition and pragmatism asserts itself. What would it be like if all of us would be open to our own intuition, not to the exclusion of the pragmatic, but more as an adjunct to it? How would our decisions be different? Why do we seek to justify with data when our hearts tell us the truth? Can a heart lie? I suppose it depends on the hearts ability to express and the individuals openness to listen. I dont know.

As distinct as the individuals I coach, so appear the conversations. But stop, look beyond the words, and I find similarities, the basis for our humanity. There are stories, so many stories. There are emotions, so many emotions. There is poetry in each individual. Discovery, acceptance, forgiveness, right action, brazenness, courage, love, disappointment, compassion, everything!

I am blessed. I know that. I am privileged to share in the lives of others and be witness to the breaking open of so many cocoons. I must acknowledge and thank all who have contributed to the experience of my life.

So perhaps between lines of poetry and the subtle sounds of the AHA moments, there is a coalescence of what it is to be human. And here I am, witness to that, needing to thank you for allowing me to be in the space between the clouds of confusion and the sun breaks of clarity.

You will read this and I will be on that island in Maine, listening to the harsh breaking of the waves on rocks carved by a lifetime of power. I will be sitting atop one of those large rocks overlooking the ocean, spray in my face and only the cries of the gulls to interfere with my thoughts.

Here they are:

1. No one is responsible for your happiness. No one gives you happiness. It sources from you.

2. Happiness does not arise from the events in your life. Instead it is constructed as a response to the events in your life. Therefore...

3. You get to choose or not choose happiness. You can choose to stay stuck in an unpleasant situation, or you can move on, or you can transform your interpretation of what is happening so that you can accept it and take a stance to create something from whatever has occurred.

4. There are things that have you feel happier and things that make you feel lousy. It makes sense to do more of the former and less of the latter. Incorporating your body, mind and soul makes these activities more meaningful and potent.

5. When in doubt, help somebody else. When you become too self-involved, you are not happy. And know that nothing in the world allows you to get in touch with your own happiness than helping someone else. Service is a road to happiness.

6. Happiness is not a BIG deal; often it is in the little details of life that you feel the happiest. Petting your dog, swimming in the ocean, eating a sweet strawberry, listening to music, having a pillow fight with the family, all come to mind.

7. Why wait for happiness when you can be happy now? Too often youll say Ill wait until the weekend, until next year, until the kids are grown up, until we retire, etc. Why not be happy now?

8. Happiness has to do with how you make meaning and find purpose. It means that you have to pay attention so that you can be here now, in order to notice and to be happy.

9. If you dont remember a time when you were truly happy, it doesnt mean you werent. It means you cant remember and probably should concentrate on being happy today, not being happy about yesterday. Which brings me to the 10th happiness principle.

10. Happiness lives in the now, not in the past nor in the future. Happiness is about BEING more than doing. Looking for it out there doesnt work. It is available here, now, alone or in company. Choose happiness!